All Things The Children’s Horrible House by N. Jane Quackenbush

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childrens horrible house
Title: The Children’s Horrible House Author: N. Jane Quackenbush  Age: Middle Grade Published: November 10, 2015 by Smashwords Edition ISBN13: 9780991104581

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Holly Spinatsch, a curious and rebellious tomboy, was forewarned by her siblings that if she didn’t make her bed, she would be taken away to The Children’s Horrible House…and indeed she was.   On her search for kinship in this seemingly haunted jail like mansion, she discovers a mystery lurking and breathing, crying out for discovery.  However, when she and her friends attempt to solve the mystery, they are only left with more questions.

Guest Posts by N. Jane Quackenbush:

Favorite Quotes from The Children’s Horrible House:   ­ There are so many to choose from, but I guess it would have to be, “ The bags under her  eyes looked like they were packed for a six month long vacation. The skin tags that  dotted the puffy area below her eyes were magnified by her impossibly thick glasses,  which had to weigh ten pounds.” 
­ Ten Things you didn’t know about N. Jane Quackenbush:  ­   ­ 1) I pick my nails, but my thumbs get the most punishment. 2) I have 4 kitties.                     3) I love anything weird ,creepy or quirky. For instance, my son Westly found a plastic doll  arm while walking on the beach and I thought it was the best (funniest/creepiest)thing  ever!  4) ­I’ve had a crush on Lord Byron since I was 19 and Simon Le Bon since I was 11. ­      5) If I’m not reading or writing, I’m shredding on my surfboard:)   6) ­I wish I could have met Edgar Allan Poe…I have a beautiful painted portrait of him on my  desk.  ­ 7) I have very vivid dreams that I can still recall from childhood.  ­8) I am a daughter of The American Revolution on both my mother’s and father’s side…so I  guess that makes me an American?  ­ 9) My nose has never worked correctly.  ­  

­ N. Jane Quackenbush’s Favorite Reads of All Time  ­   ­ The Ramona Quimby Series, All of Shakespeare, The Raven, The Tell Tale Heart, The  Flea, Ode to a Grecian Urn, Ahab’s Wife, Wicked, The Red Tent, The Outlander Series  and of course The Children’s Horrible House…  ­

  ­ What You Might Find in The Children’s Horrible House!   ­   ­ A lot of things you wouldn’t expect…for instance, The House is grand and absolutely  beyond beautiful almost not horrible at all. Holly learns about things she didn’t even  know she was interested in, like Astronomy, Meteorology, Horticulture as well as  Native­American Folklore.   ­   ­

Playlist to go along with The Children’s Horrible House  ­   ­ The Children’s Horrible House IS a song! It is a song that my brother’s and sister’s would  sing to me as a child to try to get me to clean my room and make my bed. The Book 
begins and ends with the song and if you google The Children’s Horrible House, you can  hear it and sing along! 

Excerpt from The Children’s Horrible House:

It was still dark when we were let out in front of a huge flaming gate. Well, the gate wasn’t actually flaming, but on each side, a gas lantern was lit and with the smudges on my eternally foggy glasses, it made the gate appear ablaze. The shiny black metal not only reflected the flames, but it seemed to make the whole gate glow in unison with the flickering flames. A very tall brick wall covered in thorny bushes grew even higher than the wall, spreading out of sight in both directions. Major Whoopins punched in a code that opened the gates.

We proceeded down a long black driveway lined with spooky cowering trees offering a creepy welcome. Ahead I saw a building. Even though it was still not quite morning, the sun had started to peak over the horizon giving us just the right light to see. It was a three-story maroon colored mansion that looked like it could either be a haunted Victorian house or the fanciest jail ever constructed. I wasn’t sure. It looked like a jail because it had bars on the windows, but it also looked like a fancy house because it had white painted porches on the first two stories. The roof line was very steep and had a couple of chimney stacks. The front right side of the building had a square turret that made it look nice, but frightening. At the top of the turret, I noticed a bar-less window with lace curtains. As I stared, I felt someone staring back. A woman’s form moved from behind the curtain, and then she was gone.

“Who was that?” I asked, mostly to myself, but I guess Major Whoopins heard me because he answered me saying in a thick, gruff voice, “You’d best mind yo’ own bidness and you gonna git along just fine, ya’ hear?”

“Yes, sir!” I said hoping to stay on his good side. He gave me a reluctant smile but I saw it.

“See that door?” he asked. “You go on and git up there and wait fo’ Mr. Ree.”

Who was Mr. Ree?  I wondered.

Amazon | Smashwords

About the author and where to find her:

N. Jane Quackenbush is a graduate of Palm Beach Atlantic University. She lives in a horrible house filled with mystery and fun in St. Augustine, Florida, a place she finds a lot of material by which she is inspired. Many places mentioned in her books are based on actual haunted buildings, star-filled planetariums and magical gardens deep within The Nation’s Oldest City.

N. Jane Quackenbush has also written the following Children’s Picture Books:
The Rocket Ship Bed Trip
The Pirate Ship Bed Trip
The Afternoon Moon
and many more books in the works!

Website | Facebook | Blog | Smashwords | Goodreads


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